Mommy Guilt
It's not until just recently that I've begun to feel mommy guilt about being away from Harper while I'm at work. I feel like it's because she's beginning to recognize that I'm gone, and actually care.
I've been pretty happy with most of the decisions I've made when it comes to Harper.
I was pretty okay with feeding her formula.
I was very okay with the decision to quit pumping.
I was confident in our decision to move her to her crib from our room.
I was happy with the decision to sleep train her.
I am happy with the decisions I make regarding what to feed her.
I really do try to just take things as they come, and not get too worked up over anything in particular.
But now, when I pick her up on my way home from work, she runs to me and throws her arms around my legs and hugs me. I love it so much that she does that, but I'm also feeling a bit of guilt at the same time. I don't want to miss out on her life.
Actually, I do love my job, and I can mostly deal with the fact that I'm going to work, but its the days I have to stay late. The days that I need to take her somewhere to I can go for a 30 min run during daylight hours or want to go visit with a friend. The days I should be with her, but I'm not because of my own selfish reasons. It's the fact that she's miserable after supper until bed, and isn't exactly pleasant to be around. I feel bad about feeling that way.
I know that it's all going to be fine. It just sucks to doubt yourself. I love my job. I don't mind staying extra for that patient that needs it. I need to allow myself time for myself. I know that when she grows up, she won't likely think of me as never being around. I love her unconditionally, and provide for her everything that she could ever need. That is enough, and I am enough.
Do you suffer from mommy guilt? How do you deal?
Linking up with a group of awesome mamas I found through Words about Waverly!
I've been pretty happy with most of the decisions I've made when it comes to Harper.
I was pretty okay with feeding her formula.
I was very okay with the decision to quit pumping.
I was confident in our decision to move her to her crib from our room.
I was happy with the decision to sleep train her.
I am happy with the decisions I make regarding what to feed her.
I really do try to just take things as they come, and not get too worked up over anything in particular.
But now, when I pick her up on my way home from work, she runs to me and throws her arms around my legs and hugs me. I love it so much that she does that, but I'm also feeling a bit of guilt at the same time. I don't want to miss out on her life.
Actually, I do love my job, and I can mostly deal with the fact that I'm going to work, but its the days I have to stay late. The days that I need to take her somewhere to I can go for a 30 min run during daylight hours or want to go visit with a friend. The days I should be with her, but I'm not because of my own selfish reasons. It's the fact that she's miserable after supper until bed, and isn't exactly pleasant to be around. I feel bad about feeling that way.
I know that it's all going to be fine. It just sucks to doubt yourself. I love my job. I don't mind staying extra for that patient that needs it. I need to allow myself time for myself. I know that when she grows up, she won't likely think of me as never being around. I love her unconditionally, and provide for her everything that she could ever need. That is enough, and I am enough.
Do you suffer from mommy guilt? How do you deal?
Linking up with a group of awesome mamas I found through Words about Waverly!
Oh goodness, it's like you tapped right into my brain! I always feel terrible when I do something on weekends because weekends are really my only time to spend with the guys. It got easier when they started taking longer, almost two hour, naps in the afternoons. I plan my Sunday long run around those naps.
ReplyDeleteDo you have a jogging stroller? I would sometimes jog with the boys just so I was spending time with them.
It took me a while to realize this, and I am still trying to remember it, but it's ok to take time out for yourself outside of work. It's ok to go for a run on your own, or go out to lunch with a friend sans child. My friend told me, "sure it sucks when they get upset when you're leaving. Just wait until they're a little older and they don't even notice you're going or can't wait for you to leave."
You got this, Mama!
I do have a jogger, but it says on the warning, don't go faster than a walk...Wtf right?! I'm just learning to run now, and I feel like it would be really difficult with a stroller, but I feel I could take her once I get a little better at it! :)
DeleteComing home to Mia after my day of work is the BEST feeling ever! I looooove how happy and excited she gets to see me! I feel like it's so refreshing for us both to get a break! While I miss her while I'm gone, I do my best not to confuse that with guilt. It's so easy to let stuff eat at us... and you're right. It sucks bad to doubt ourselves! But you're an amazing mom and everything you're doing is just right for your family!
ReplyDeleteComing home to her is the best part of the day! :)
Delete